Distracted

I can't point at a verse in the Bible that says this, but I think this statement is almost always true: "the older you get, the busier you get." Or, I could say it this way: "living longer means a longer list of responsibilities."

That's right, the cliche show is in town and I'll be here all night... and every other night.

Here is a list of things that demand something like immediate attention in my life:

- I have to pass my classes to graduate. It'll be a lot of work, but I'll make it.

- I have to make sure there are enough people to live n my house next year.

- Grad school will start immediately after camp and I need to start on research grants.

- I have obligations and commitments to maintain relationship with my family and friends. 

- I have to mentally and spiritually start preparing myself for camp.

- Some issues with close friends have reached critical mass and I need to process how those relationships will be manifested down the line.

- I need to continue seeking to be close to God in prayer and knowing scripture.

Yes, that is the order that those things came to mind. Wow.

My heart has been, is, and will be an incredibly distracted one. After typing all of those things out on a separate list before writing this, I looked at what I had written and my response was first despair at the seemingly overwhelming nature of my life right now, followed almost immediately by a disgust at how deeply I desire comfort and ease, and then, after realizing that I am entirely missing the boat on the whole matter, brokenness and a deep desire for repentance.

What I learned from the list above is not that I need to get on the ball with work, not that my life is more or less difficult than anyone else's, and not even that I am doing the wrong or right thing by prioritizing the first few items; what I learned was that I am viewing a lot of ultimately superfluous things as things to be done before I checked in with my God, my Father, my teacher, my owner, my master, and my redeemer. To me, Jesus has at times become an afterthought. Those words hurt to hear.

Truthfully, I don't have any clever points to make. After thinking about it long and hard, here's all I can come up with: Jesus is the point. Getting a degree and having friendships and doing what I am supposed to do is a good and a right thing, but it is ultimately not the point. The point of life and everything is to know God and be known by God. Everything else is subordinate to that end. Unless I am seeking to know, serve, and love God, anything I do is intrinsically worthless. 

If we take Him at his word (hint: we should), it is disingenuous to say that Jesus died and resurrected so that His righteousness can be put on us to save us from the just wrath of God and go on about our day. I think I am not making a stretch to say that the good news of Jesus and the Kingdom is not just a matter of salvation; basically everything He taught was about living in God's Kingdom and basically everything Paul wrote was about being 'in' or living 'united' to Christ. 

The gospel is not safe and it will not leave your life unchanged. I know God is not going to abandon me because I sometimes wander in my thoughts and ambitions; Jesus has been abandoned and punished and risen so that I may live in liberty and true freedom. My biggest fear no longer has to be wondering who God is and what He thinks about me. He let His son get murdered unjustly so that I could have life. My biggest fear is that I would have that life (hint: John 10:10) and not be transformed, or said another way, that I would be able to live in freedom and communion with God and instead keep twiddling my thumbs focusing on things that aren't even on the same level of reality. 

Don't be distracted. Don't stop looking at Jesus. While we live these lives, a mere speck of dust in view of the true story that reality tells, our enemy will try to convince us that we and our lives are central. This, of course, is false. Jesus is central. Jesus is the point. Jesus is that whether we are willing to repent (metanoeō, or change our minds) and again remember that we were not created to do a series of ultimately meaningless tasks, but instead to live lives that point at Jesus and say "look at Him. He is what it is all about." God loves us and is willing to keep teaching, guiding, and disciplining us. He isn't going to hate us when we get distracted; He has just made something far better and more meaningful available.