Overwhelmed.

This is me pondering just how good God is. As always, please forgive any incoherence and rambling.

Psalm 19 says this:

The heavens are telling of the glory of God, and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.

Glory, transliterated as kabowd in Hebrew, means heaviness or worth or honor or majesty. Basically, this verse means that what we can see in the heavens tells us about the weight that God carries, of His majesty and splendor.

A cool thing I have been learning about God is that His goodness is overwhelming. The glory of His goodness and graciousness is genuinely more than I am able to process. 

The other day, riding down to the beach with a friend, it occurred to me that this moment in my life is extraordinarily brief. It is also occurred to me that this season was something the younger version of me would have killed for. 

How many day will be the ones where I can leave town to the east one day and leave to the west the next? How long will I be able to go to the beach just to hang out with friends, to celebrate years of friendship with brothers and laugh until late in the evening, and to develop meaningful friendships with new friends?

In a couple weeks, I will be immersed in the hectic, beautiful, difficult, rewarding season of camp (my last summer! For real this time!). I'll be able to see some of my closest brothers, guys that have been some of my best friends for years. I'll be able to invest heavily in teenagers and hang out with tons of little kids. There will be shenanigans and games and jokes and genuine community... it's a time and place like none other. How soon will August 13 come and what will it bring with it?

My brother and sister-in-law live a couple miles from my house, so I can see them and get advice or hang out any time. My little sis and older sis (and brother-in-law) still live near my parents, so I can easily see them. All 4 of the kids in my family love the crap out of each other and my family has always loved and supported each other. How long will we live so close and being able see each other so easily?

The goodness of God's gifts is overwhelming to me. I honestly can't articulate exactly how good they are. All I am confident about in this season of life is this: God's goodness is more than the goodness of His gifts (He must be greater than His gifts in order to give them); God's goodness is better than I can comprehend during this season and it still will be during the next season; it would be incredibly silly to respond with anything other than broken, humbled gratitude.

Oh, God would you teach me the brevity of these day and let me soak in the beauty of the gifts you are giving me? 

Oh God, would you let me remember your goodness when the stars are evident and when they are hidden?

Oh God, would you take my brokenness and desperate need for you and accept it as all I can give to you?